god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
