How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
