she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
