i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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