Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
