so explain again why im purple
no
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
