Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
