dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
