If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
