so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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