I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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