shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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