i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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