As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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