i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
