Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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