But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
