it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
