I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
