Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
