If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
two words: eviction party
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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