She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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