Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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