so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
whose parrot is this?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
