We need to rekindle our bromance
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize