But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
