There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
