P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize