I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize