their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
In America we eat man semen.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
