This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
