Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
