Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
