i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize