ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
