I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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