Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
