kristin has been a bad kristin
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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