can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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