Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
