Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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