Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
