I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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