miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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