8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
