a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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