you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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