I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is wine microwaveable?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
