At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
