Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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