I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
