so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
