Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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