honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize