you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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