I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
birth control should be required to get into college
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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