I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
