I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
